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Dwarf Fortress: Tales from the Fort

itmeJP General
#1

@DragyDevi asked what stories I tell people to get them to check out Dwarf Fortress, and i thought it warranted a thread of its own because i want to hear your stories too!

My favorite tales to tell people interested in the game are:

The time my brother saw a Drake and assumed it was a wingless Dragon, and not, in fact, a male duck. He sent out his full army to fight the duck who retreated 2 squares off shore. The duck proceeded to sit there and watch as an entire dwarven army charged directly into the lake and drown. All dwarves were lost. the Duck survived.

Or the time a full fledged Dragon flew directly into my fort, headed straight to the living quarters and parked himself inside the nicest room and just stayed there. I simply sealed off that wing and kept playing till i got brave enough to send in my warriors. When they got close the dragon poked his head out into the hallway and turned it into nothing but fire, blood and charred dwarven bones. The dragon then popped back into his favorite room and I sealed that wing off for good. It belonged to him now.

So what are some of your favorite DF stories?

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#2

Another of my favorite stories is from my brother in law:

One of his nobles was mad they didn’t have a proper tomb, so after building an ornate and beautifully carved final resting place he finished it off by placing a well made coffin in the center. Overjoyed, the Noble rushed to the tomb and placed carefully inside, a torn pair of pants. We can only assume he loved these pants and could now fully mourn their loss.

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#3

Not my stories, because I didn’t play enough to actually have stories (or don’t remember :slight_smile: ), but Quill18 has several series on DF over the time, amongst those:

  • A were-Anteater shows up, gets defeated by 1 squad or something. The anteater manages to bite 2 or 3 people, so he locks them up in the hospital. Shortly after, one of them turns, he gathers his army in front of the hospital while they fight in there, he kills the new wereperson (and everyone else that was in the room) and good. He then misses that some of the new people have been bitten and shortly after, another dwarf turns and I don’t remember anymore if that was the end or if something else happened.

  • Another time relatively early in a game all adult dwarves were killed by something or another. So, he thought: That was a nice area and a nice fortress I started. I’ll embark there again. First off, because the dead dwarves have not been buried, there were ghosts around, haunting the hallways and rooms. A minor nuisance - first priority, bury them. While doing that he also was attacked by the now feral dwarf kids from the previous inhabitants (now ghosts) and I think the first time it happened they wiped out his new team too - leading to more dwarfghosts.

  • There was also the time when he was inspired by GoT and decided the dwarves of this embark will never sow, take everything from elf and human caravans and only give away iron mugs when trading with dwarves (Mugging them, as he calls it). Which went so suprisingly well, he also went to go visit the “circus”.

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#4

oh my gosh i remember some of those stream!

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#5

One of my favorite stories from the internet was the story of the vampire and the goose. Basically, a vampire attacked and killed another dwarf in the middle of a dinning room. Naturally, there were a lot of witnesses. The vampire had to think fast and blame someone else. So he blamed Urist Dukzim, a goose. There was a lovely comic that went along with the story but I can’t upload pictures very well from mobile.

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#6

If you can find it later that sounds awesome and i would love to see the comic!

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#7

One of my favourite DF moments was when I lost my military to a Forgotten Beast that spewed dust. I had sealed off my underground caverns and I noticed that the beast would stay motionless in a single square. At this moment I started thinking likke a dorf. I dug a tunel connecting to my biomes magma tube and created a magma proof floor grate. With some dwarven engineering I managed to create a series of flood gates that allowed to to drip laval on the beast and destroy it without having to risk any dwarves. Much hilarity ensued as every plant in the underground tunnels caught fire and killed every creature in it. :itmejphappy:

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#8

Boatmurdered
Just look it up on google and have a good chuckle

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