Dealing with Anxiety

[Broxalar]

Feeling anxious here so I figured I would pose a question, feel free to contribute or comment. This is something I’m sure people feel personal about so no pressure, this is just one way I try to handle my own (although a far different format than I’ve ever tried before-post online rather than a written message of a more personal nature)

How do you guys handle either/and/or stress/anxiety?

Personally, I handle a lot of stress from my own to clients on a daily basis. I’m almost constantly in an anxious mode and feel the need to find something to relax me. I’m terrified of in person interactions involving more than 2-3 people at once. Public speaking grips me with such fear that I just want to collapse. It’s rough, and sometimes I just really don’t know what to do other than muscling through.

A little about my job, I deal with both mental health and intellectual disabilities or illnesses as well as brain injuries. I’m constantly bombarded by others anxieties or the need to identify them so that they can cope properly. These people also being in general people at extremes, I can be cussed at and threatened on a daily basis. This can get a bit overwhelming. Also add in team members/leaders and any kind of issues that happen with any team. Recently even my commute more than quadrupled without the allowance of added time to sleep I’m a bit more anxious lately.

My recent methods have included blasting Rollplay music on my way home from work. This is to not only change headspace but to keep me somewhat energized and get a bit of feeling back into me that feels more on a normal level. Sometimes I’ll just read or catch up on things Internet wise and separate from responsibility. However these aren’t things I can do all the time because I also have two kids 7yo and 1yo to take care of.

Twitch, for whatever reason just instantly can soothe me if I find the right person. Just listening and hearing someone do something they have fun with or destress with can be relaxing. Or people just thinking things out or hosting interactive discussions can be huge for me to just listen to. I try to almost every minute have a headphone in and be able to listen to someone(thing) I enjoy through any audio media to just constantly keep a balance.

Otherwise it can be something as simple as talking to my wife or a friend to just get it out. This is harder because there’s that concern of shifting a burden to someone else so I’m not always comfortable asking someone to bear weight with me (bears are goddamn heavy). I can even struggle telling my wife outright and sometimes I’m just more comfortable texting saying hey “I need a hug when I get home” or something. I’m terrible at being verbal .

There’s no purpose to this other than to share if your comfortable, throw brainstorms at people who can’t find reliable ways. Or just so people can feel like they aren’t alone. I’m ok if no one participates, but feel free if you want to because I’m really starting to feel like I’m in a community I personally care about.

(Also if format sucks I’m sorry, on mobile)

[NoorElBahrain (Might be Captain Marvel)]

Personally my faith/religion help me through stress and any sort of fear or discomfort. Sorry I can’t give you methods or ways that are common or accessible to people outside of my religion

[Broxalar]

You’re fine, today was just a day that I told myself “do this thing and see if it helps and see if maybe people want to contribute” kind of thing. Personally I’ve been a bit scarred by faith so unfortunately it’s not something I use. However I can perfectly understand people who have it as a pillar of their being and there’s nothing wrong with it.

The point is, we all have different things that work for us because we’re different people. But we can still have common interests! So thanks for your input. Lately my only solution has been trying to lay down and just empty myself for an hour or more after work. I’m hoping to find something else, because it really limits my time to do things I enjoy.

[Hudomonkey]

I always find what makes me most anxious is things I can’t control so I always try to find comfort in the things that I can which can cause problems as I am somewhat easily upset when even rather small things are different. All I can say is having things you enjoy doing/watching etc and making regular time for them is important to allow you to be able to deal with everything else the rest of the time

[Broxalar]

That’s a big part of how I deal with stress, from watching something with the wife to playing games, reading or watching a movie/stream are big for me. Thanks for sharing!

[TwitchSurgeon (Twitch: LiveSpace)]

I think a lot of people have anxiety of things, I actually didn’t know that’s what it was called… it was just shit I didn’t like. Growing up I had a lot of them but today put me on a stage in front of a lot of people I have no issue with be it 5 or 5000 people in the audience… I love it. I guess it’s the same thing that @Hudomonkey mentioned I’ve learned to control the stage. And also my confidence in even the stupid shit I say have grown, since I know that I’m able to take a step back and be “woo I shouldn’t have said that” or “that was a stupid thing to say” and I’m able to apologize for my mistake and learn from it. Didn’t use to be like that and instead I used to have anxiety over making even the slightest mistake. Personal growth is one helluva drug.

[Broxalar]

Thanks for this! I always have an issue with Lacking self confidence, mainly because I dwell sometimes and have issues needing to resolve issues quickly and in a way that feels complete. I think a part of my anxiety comes from just being silent and think of the best way to say something, so I run things through my head hundreds of times before hitting the situation. Yet when I get there I stay silent because I still have that bag that if I offend it’ll bite me and I’ll unintentionally bother or insult someone.

Having something like a chat room/game/the internet helps me a ton because I can get out what I’m thinking in a way that feels complete. When I’m personally speaking to someone I’m slow to process exactly what they say and respond so I feel like I’m always a step behind a conversation even if I’m fully listening. All in all there’s just a lot of components to anxiety but over the last 8 years I’m still making slow progress because I can do things that terrifies me back then. I just need to find that headspace. Personal growth is huge in that. Thanks again!!

[DragyDevi]

Social anxiety is something I also wrestle with. Some of the ways I deal with it is talking about what’s making me nervous with my significant other or someone I trust. If I’m having a problem with a particular person, I feel talking and being honest, as long as I feel comfortable with that person, also helps.

Strangely enough, talking with people on the internet is much harder, anxiety wise, for me than talking in person. One of the big things I’m doing now to help work through my social anxiety is contributing to this community. I’m challenging myself to interact more with people here. In meat space, I’m joining a group that will help train my public speaking.

What I want you or others who have social anxiety to take away from my post is that there are options. For me, practice makes perfect. I feel as long as I work at it, I can overcome the stress that occurs from interacting with people. That might not be you, and that’s okay. There are many different ways to approaching anxiety.

[Broxalar]

I entirely agree with multiple ways of managing anxiety. I appreciate your willingness to share. I’ll say, normally I’m not actually all that vocal on forums and such. I’m normally more vocal on something similar to instant messaging or game chats rather than forums. Either because its easy to get lost or sometimes I feel like my input isn’t really important enough to really be a part of a conversation on a forum. So in part I’m also trying to push myself into being more part of a community, especially since I really have been enjoying it more every year I’ve been here.

[viriskali15]

Generally the things that bring anxiety in my life are when I become overwhelmed by the future or by the things I have to do. So, generally what I do is ground myself in the future usually by making a to-do list that makes the things I have to do concrete things rather than this amorphous blob of responsibility. Hope this helps! Anxiety can be an asshole.

[Woadwise]

Sooo I just quit my job (as in, 3 hours ago). Sorry for the rant. I know I’m all over the place.

I am diagnosed with what is called Generalized Anxiety Disorder, or what I like to call chronic anxiety. I don’t often have the panic attacks stereotyped with anxiety except maybe once or twice a year. Instead, chronic anxiety for me tends to be more of a slow burn at a heightened level from a healthy individual. I experience chest pain, sore shoulders, sore jaw, you name it. Whatever the flavor of the day, week, or month decides to throw at me. It sucks, but for the most part I have learned to cope with the day to day by being aware of how I am feeling and taking a step back and deep breath when needed.

What I am now struggling with at 26, is handling anxiety as an adult in public settings. Family, work, relationship, finances, etc. In high school it was easy to chalk things up to teenage angst. In college, many people are ridiculously accepting and as young adults are desperately trying to widen their horizons. I also had a university provided therapist, which was wonderful. But now I’ve been in the real world for about 4 years, and damn it can suck sometimes.

Everyone is different of course, but for me it was all about finding outlets and keeping things fresh. Competitive running worked wonders for me in college. I had a meditation phase. I picked up swing dancing. With social anxiety being nearly non-existent for me unless I am provoked, I am actually pretty lucky. This allowed me to live by the mantra Jack of all trades, master of none, though oftentimes better than master of one. It kept life interesting, and kept me interesting to others.

But big boy adulting world. Yeesh. I can’t exactly pick up a ton of hobbies working over 40 hours a week with no expendable income. I had an extremely serious relationship end in August, and with that my plans to relocate to Netherlands and sort of start over vanished. I just quit my minimum wage job today because I could not handle the cesspool of HR issues and terrible treatment I received. Basically, I am at a loss and am still too shell shocked to find a solution.

But, long story short, I would offer this general advice to those with anxiety issues:

• Don’t forget to be selfish sometimes. You can’t take care of others if you aren’t taking care of yourself.
• Although it can be scary, try change things in your life to get relief from monotony. This can be something as simple as drinking new kind of tea every morning while you relax before work or school.
• If you are able to, consider therapy. It was a bit strange for me at first, but it did me wonders.
• Eliminate unnecessary complications. If it doesn’t exist, it’s harder to worry about it.

That’s about all that my tired shitshow of a brain can muster at the moment. Maybe I’ll clean up the train of thought tomorrow once I’ve rested. Hope this helps, and thanks for letting me get some of my own anxiety off of my chest.

[Broxalar]

I appreciate the share, still getting some extra rest from my day off so I’ll reply more later but I truest appreciate it!!

Edit:
I did the same in college for a therapist, it really still mostly focused on a past thing for me which I’m not sure that helped but hey I got stuff off my chest which is important at times. I personally have a hard time pinpointing exactly what bothers me, I tend to almost always be vague which is an altogether separate issue.

The main way I can ever get through something causing anxiety, even if it’s driving me to tears I just push until it’s done. It’s go time and I won’t stop until project A and B are complete so I can go do what I’d prefer.

I never thought I’d have a relationship or be a part of a community. I grew up distancing myself from people in highschool. Gaming probably kept me from dark thoughts and a solo life. I met my now wife the last year of high school online through WoW. We lived half a country a part, and because I don’t suffer from issues over the Internet I was able to compose a relationship and make it work.

Work itself is a struggle because originally I thought I’d be too afraid to get a job and interview but I took simple steps of talking a friend into helping me baby step in. My hard part now is trying to transition to something else. I’m fed up with my job and how emotionally demanding it can be, because I don’t want to leave two home lives. I have to separate work from home or I feel like I’m drowning.

More recently I’ve become less frugal and mildly splurgy on myself to make myself happy rather than just constant holding back on things I want so I think that really has helped me loosen slightly.

Thanks for sharing that though! I hope you’re able to find somewhere better for work.

[Rubxcubedude]

I found something that helped me a lot with anxiety is dedicating about an hour each day to something that helps me destress. Right now, that is going to the gym for an hour. I can plug my headphones in and put my anger into lifting weights or if I’m “in my head” i can get on a rower and just do some mindless rowing while spending that time processing. Before I use to play basketball for an hour, or just sit and meditate.